Barbershop Buzz: Week 4

Barbershop Buzz: Week 4

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Barbershop Buzz: Week 4

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This is a bad time of the fantasy football season. I can’t remember a worse Monday in The Shop…except for the Monday after Week 3 last year.

So far, fantasy teams have relied on their starters – the fellas that were drafted to be the foundation of your house. Bad things are on the horizon.

From now until Thanksgiving, rosters are going to be depleted. Injuries aside, healthy players miss time. Week 4 is an especially difficult body blow to take without puffing your cheeks if you’re “that guy.”

Crazy things happen when desperation hooks up with opportunity.

A half-dozen trades dropped at The Shop Monday. One included me. Funny thing was that I said nothing. These are heady days and you learn more by shutting your mouth and opening your ears and your mind.

For the “willing to listen” types, some big names are going to be on the table. They may come for a price, but this is a buyer’s market. If you followed The Huddle game plan of “never a flight from quality” you have the roster ammunition to make “the big move” possible.

Calvin Johnson is available. Shady is available. So is Forte. Janaal is going for pennies on the dollar. So is the Discount Double Check…if you’re willing.

So are countless others. As the six-pack of bye week teams come home to roost, those who are a little twitchy about the short-term may provide you with long-term solutions.

A piece of advice. Keep your ears open and keep your mouth shut…until it’s time step up. I improved my team. So can you. #Desperation=Opportunity.

SWEEPING UP

  • We had a 2014 entry to The Shop’s highlight film. On Friday, Slippery Mike swung a trade with Jackie the Fish to acquire DeSean Jackson. There was a collective shaking of heads on Monday when Jackie’s low-hanging fruit came into The Shop. What did you think a punk like D-Jack would do coming back to South Philly? If he ain’t in an ambulance, he’s giving 110. Clearly, the rest of us gave out pre-game stat lines that were accurate to a fault.
  • We all have phantom sketchy cousins we use as excuses, but RG3 best start healing, because nobody is blaming Cousins for his problems.
  • Once again the NFL can bury its skeletons with the players that aren’t doing anything wrong. The Seattle-Denver game may have frosted Pops Watson, who was looking forward to “60 Minutes” at its regular time, but it was epic. Even after having a “classic Romo” moment – the word “shart” comes into play…again – Dallas puffin’ up its chest is good to see in September. After Christmas? Get your popcorn ready, playah.
  • Don’t sleep on the Chargers. Their running backs are dropping like skeletonized bones in a KFC bucket, but they’ve taken out Seattle seafood and Buffalo wings in eight days. At The Shop, that gives shot-putter Philly Riv some complimentary buzz-cut cred.
  • Thanks to the rules changes about touching players beyond five yards, being behind by three scores doesn’t mean what it used to be. Teams lining up in a prevent defense had be put on notice. Stick with what brought you to the dance, because leads evaporate quickly if your foot off the gas.

THE RAZOR’S EDGE

10. London Calling – Few things say we want to force-feed London the NFL product by sending the Raiders and Dolphins over. Oakland is as bad as anyone this side of Jacksonville and, after a Week 1 win over New England, the Dolphins have stunk out the joint the last two games, including getting their doors blown off by the Chiefs at home.

9. Minny Mouse – In the span of one week, Minnesota lost its franchise player (Adrian Peterson), its starting quarterback (Matt Cassel) and its top playmaking tight end (Kyle Rudolph). Unless Teddy Bridgewater is ready to step into the spotlight quickly, with Atlanta, Green Bay and Detroit on the upcoming schedule, the Vikings could go from the no-huddle offense to the no-offense huddle in a hurry.

8. Act Like You’ve Been There, Playah – The Lions have enough problems on defense in their back seven. Apparently channeling his inner Bill Gramatica, who, when wearing a helmet, was a dead ringer for the Great Gazoo from the Flintstones, Stephen Tulloch celebrated a sack of Aaron Rodgers with one of those idiotic sack dances and tore his ACL and is gone for the year. Even when the Lions, they lose.

7. Brady Bunch – In the opener, the Patriots got their doors blown off by Miami, who hasn’t won since. They had their home opener in Boston Sunday and needed a fortunate penalty call in the final minute to keep from going to overtime with the hideous Raiders. Bill Belichick and Tom Brady are both Hall of Famers, but, unless they can ratchet things up in a hurry, they won’t have to worry about delaying vacations in January.

6. Way Too Slim Shady – LeSean McCoy was the first pick in a lot of fantasy drafts. While the Eagles have been lighting things up on offense and Shady has touched the ball 70 times, lofty numbers, but has averaged less than three yards a carry, 6.4 yards per reception and has just one touchdown. At least owners have the option of replacing guys like Peterson and Jamaal Charles. With all firepower the Eagles have shown this season, McCoy has been arguably the biggest disappointment.

5. Dark Days In the Flo-Rida – If you live in Florida, you have access to three NFL teams. In Week 3, things couldn’t have been much worse. Tampa Bay embarrassed itself like few teams ever have, allowing eight touchdowns and making their Thursday night game look like non-conference SEC beat-downs. Miami was supposed to truck 0-2 Kansas City, especially without King Jamaal, but got housed by 19 points. Jacksonville gave up 44 to the Colts and are primed to have the No. 1 pick. Their defense has been increasingly bad, allowing 34, 41 and 44 points. Is a Tampa-worthy 56 that far away?

4. That’s Not My Forte, Jack – One thing that makes Matt Forte so valuable is that he almost never leaves the field. Through three games, he has run 42 times and caught 19 passes. In short, Forte type numbers. But, as the Bears offense is as wide open as it has been in a long time, Forte is averaging 3.2 yards a rush and, of his 61 touches, doesn’t have one of 20 yards. Those who invested high in him are starting to question what they’re getting for their investment.

3. Not-So-Hot In Cleveland – It’s sad to say that when the clock hit :00 in all three games played by the Cleveland Browns, they would be 3-0. They lost to division rivals Baltimore and Cincinnati with a kick in flight as the clock hit double-zero. Had the Browns been able to make one defensive stand in those games, not only would Cleveland be 3-0, they would have two division wins and a win over the preseason favorite in the NFC South. Instead, they’re screwed on division tie-breakers and have blown some big opportunities.

2. Whine and Cheese – In two road games this season, the Packers have scored two touchdowns. Ask any Aaron Rodgers owner who is keeping somebody solid on his bench about that. The Packers may well be an outdoor version of the Saints – at home, all money. On the road, enter at your own risk. For as high as four key Packers were taken on draft day – Eddie Lacy, Rodgers, Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb. If they become part-time lock starters, it could be a long year for Packer owners looking for feast or famine.

1. Runnin’ It Down Your Levi’s – The 49ers were supposed to be itching for a fight with the Seahawks for dominances on the left coast. Instead, they’re fighting it out with the Rams for last. The Niners have been outscored 52-3 in the second half of games and have consistently pissed away leads – they’ve outscored their opponents 59-16 in the first half. Great teams finish games. By that standard, the Niners are not a great team.

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